We went to the city of Oakland’s department of planning and zoning to find out some details. When Dipak realized the extent of my projects he got excited. I am practicing the slow food concept in our backyard. I have a hive producing honey. I have hop rhizomes on the way in the mail and I have planted several varieties of herbs that can be used for brewing beer. In addition, after an excellent lesson at Urban Sprouts on fermentation led by my coworker, Lisa, I have also become quite adept at making fresh sourdough bread, fresh yogurt, and kombucha.

Dipak has a background in the restaurant business. He moved from Texas after selling a quite successful eclectic café, Cosmic Cup (which is still doing well). When he hears about these food projects, he thinks sales. He is deeply impressed by the quantity of herbs and vegetables I am able to harvest, not to mention our abundant egg source. I found him one morning perusing one of my build-your-own-spaceship-using-milk-cartons-and-dry chicken-dung books dreaming up a plan. I think he had a vision of something like a local food grocer café in our backyard.

So we went to find out if our zoning is commercial and allows sales; what kind of permits are required for this type of business; and to lightly inquire about whether Oakland has any regulations on beekeeping.

Oakland’s Planning and Zoning Department, located in the Frank H. Ogawa Plaza, is quite nice. We still had to wait with a number (a prerequisite for any government office) but it was quiet and it had no smells. I am accustomed to county buildings with crying babies, unhappy workers, and a plethora of bad smells, which always amazes me. Old county buildings somehow defy architectural logic by being both drafty and yet trapping foul smells. Makes me think of the physics term “spatial coherence of trapped gas.” An ideal Bose gas can form a condensate at a low enough temperature. Which makes sense because sometimes it does rather seem that the odors are dripping off the walls. But this is about city code not dismal city buildings.

I found bureaucratic speak confuses me. The gentleman that helped us responded to many questions with the assumption that if there is no city code on an activity, it’s probably isn’t allowable. I have a knee jerk reaction to that type of logic. It seems the antithesis of independent thought.

He then proceeded to tell us what activities gain the unfavorable attention of the city and which do not. Apparently, having cars jammed outside our already busy urban street and a long line trailing down to our yard (should we have been so successful) would be unfavorable. However, if we have a dinner with up to 15 friends in our house once a week, they won’t know about it (!?) and that is favorable. Likewise, if we have a delivery truck pull up in front our home to make a pick up each morning, they will find out, which the very act of is unfavorable but if we have a “lemonade stand” staffed by children, they won’t know, which again is favorable. I am feeling a moral dilemma coming on.

I don’t think we can have a grocer café in the back, unless of course fifteen of our neighborhood children want to staff it. I also found out that Oakland may or may not have codes on beekeeping, it all depends. By the reaction of the man helping us who seemed philosophically opposed to growing food and having chicken and bees in a backyard, it seemed a good idea to wait to vet things further. You know, let things ferment.

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