I have encountered the dreaded problem of rats in my garden. I first noticed when I watched a rat come out at dusk and eat my first harvest of Fuji Apples in October. I was not so pleased and decided to harvest ASAP to avoid more destruction. I brought the apples into my cool dry basement where I had kept potatoes and winter squash successfully the year before. Within a few days a rat (or rats) had located the honey sweet apples and irresponsibly taken bites out of each one. Through December ferociously hungry rats gnawed clear through an industrial garbage can several times to eat the high protein turkey food housed within. Incidentally, they also managed to eat off the bottom of a brand new light weight water resistant bike pannier that contained an unused gel shot (caffeinated no less). As a desperate measure to ensure these heavily caffeinated and hungry rats did make their way into the house, I poisoned them. This is not a preferred method for a number of reasons but the snap traps did not work and I have negative zero interested in catch and release- catch maybe but release, no way. I found said rats postmortem.

It turns out the word is out in the rodent world and I am dealing with a persistent problem. One very fat one in particular has become so bold it walks around at all times in the day foraging very near to me. I watched it yank the last of my strawberries right off the plant. I did not get to eat one berry off those plants yet thanks to that rat. I am also concerned that its all day double duty implies babies near by.

I have considered all manner of methods to expire this animal and its kin- knife throwing; poison; pellet guns…which I learned are quite powerful. I found a pellet gun with a shooting distance of up to 575 yards (five football fields) and a .177 caliber pointed steel hunting pellet. From my hillside yard, I can see what is the Grand Avenue valley, 575 yards means a neighbors car or window across the main avenue and several blocks away. Then I learned that 1) Pellet guns sound just like actual guns when discharged and 2) It is completely “unlawful for any person to at any time fire or discharge, or cause to be fired or discharged, any firearm or any projectile weapon as defined in this chapter within the limits of [Oakland] (Code § 9.36.080)”…oops.

The city of Oakland considers the following as projectile weapons “air gun, air pistol, air rifle, gas-operated gun, BB gun, pellet gun, flare gun, dart gun, bow, cross-bow, slingshot, wrist rocket, blow gun, paint gun, or other similar device or instrument.” I find the listing of slingshots deeply ironic in a city where illegal firearms are discharged frequently.

Apparently a person “shall be guilty of a separate offense for each and every firing of a projectile weapon or discharge of a firearm, and shall be punished accordingly.” If you saw the size of the super tiny pellets, it would seem ridiculous to be punished for each and every one of them but it’s the law. Punishment includes up to $1,000 fine, less than 12 months of jail time and your neighbors thinking you are the biggest jackass in the world.

I retired the idea of shooting the rat from my dining room window and next turned to the natural and perfectly legal method of a hunting animal. My first thought was a feral barn cat that needs no human contact but will deter rodents. This may be a good long term approach but to rid the garden of her infestation I will need an animal that can actually mow down the population. This brings me to “Princess”, my sister’s Rat Terrier.
Turns out her high strung mess of a terrier is actually a keen rodent killer, or so she claimed. I brought Princess over, I pointed her in the direction of the bold fat rat as it poked it s head out of its spot and when I released her, she ran out of the garden, up the driveway and to the car where she sat obstinately looking to and fro from the car door to me. I brought her in the house to calm her nerves and she sat backed against the front door for about an hour, shaking. So much for Princess the Fearless Rat Killer.

I looked into a catch and “release” and found one small enough for chipmunks but apparently even squirrels can fit in there. The thought of catching squirrels in plain sight of the rat made me think of what I know of the rat mammalian brain from my neuroscience courses. They are extremely smart, especially the wild ones. If they see the trap go off, they will not go near it.

I have decided to go with the Tomcat bait trap only big enough for rats and smaller rodents. I am sad to use the poison method but I cannot allow rats to live among my crops.

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