I have a friend that decided years ago his claim to the “olden days” would be that we were alive to see the day of the $.10 avocado. That was only 17 years ago but give it another ten, when avocados are $5 each, and then we have a really marker in the timeline. Even today however, those of us that love the pale umami flesh of those precious fruit, also know they can be a real drag on the wallet. So when I moved into our home and realized the sad neglected tree in the back was an avocado, I was pretty excited. Even if it was old, brittle and according to the neighbor hadn’t produced fruit since some time on the mid 80s (due to a bad frost), I still held hope that some TLC might work. Each year I fed it, piled the compost on and gave it a little extra water in the dry months. For three years the spotted and yellow leaves continued to drop. The cracked bark flaked like the skin of a nonagenarian. Then, last year I noticed leaves came in February that appeared glossy and dark. I decided to try an old trick that my gramps told the family about years ago. He said, if an avocado tree has gone dormant due to cold, after the last frost of the year get a belt and whip it. Yup, whip it.

So with Dipak snickering at me, I did just that. I felt terrible but you know, sometimes tough love it the best kind. Its hard to isolate the causes of things out in the garden. There are so many uncontrolled factors. However, come April the tree had a tiny spray of blossoms on it. I monitored it for months with the high hopes of getting fruit. Especially since I had also started keeping bees right beneath the tree. But no. It bore no fruit.

This year however, the tree is covered in blossoms.

I do not know how avocados reproduce. I do not know if the flower is a female one day and a male the next or if another tree is needed. I do know that the signs of life in the last year indicate that it has been malnourished. Since I have no idea what really to do for it to coax it into bearing fruit I suggested to Dipak that we make a song and sing to it this year. Remembering last year’s whipping antics, he asked me if I was playing good cop bad cop with it. Haha, funny. Lets see who is laughing when we have pricey avocados dripping off the tree for free.